I’ve learned a thing or two about “steps” the past few months…
1. They only happen one at a time.
2. In order to move forward, a step needs to take place.
3. Some steps happen without thought, others happen only after tons of thought.
4. Some are taken with joy, others are taken with agony.
5. In order to “see” where steps will lead, sometimes you move forward blindly.
In my current season of life, I’m gaining a broader perspective of what it truly means to be in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:25). My natural inclination bends to doing the same, familiar routine over and over, simply because it’s predictable. And in this state of familiarity, nothing has to be placed on the table called “risk”.
Not so for me over these past years of preparation while living life at home with little ones. And as these little ones grew, and spend many hours at school, my recent season has experienced anything but predictability, and I learned one amazing crazy lesson – this can actually be fun! For this is where I learned to develop my relationship with my Heavenly Father. This is the soil where seeds grew in the fertility of time spent reading the Word and having conversations with the Holy Spirit. This is where I trod with baby steps in tuning into the gentle guidance of the plan the Lord had for me in the moment to moment days. This fertile soil fed not only my mind and my body, it fed my soul. And I was content beyond my wildest dreams.
And then the Spirit led me into a “static” season. A season of the routine of a 40-hour employed week in addition to my former roles and tasks. And my intellect was awakened in a new way. Though dusty at first, I was intrigued by this new sense of opening a valve of brain flow that had not been tapped into for awhile. Ideas flowed and terminology was re-introduced, and a new sense of mental challenge was well on it’s way. And most days were great. And some days were not. Some days brought about some fruits of labor, other days I simply felt like a failure. It was in those moments of “hard” when I sensed a testing of my roots. Did I build roots in soil of nourishing, deeply-toiled God- truth, or when my world grew a little stormy, had I grown comfortable in allowing seed to grow in shallow soil, seeming fine above ground, but limp and wimpy below ground level?
In those moments, when my flesh tempted me to undermine God’s true view of my value and worth, I hung on. I clung to Him in ways that a child clings to the leg of his or her Father in times of desperate need of security. In my weakness, His strength grew in ways that were far above me. These lessons could only have been learned in this space of “hard”, for here is where we break the ceiling of “I can’t” and we realize “I can”, through Him.
I had a chance to go for a run this morning in this beautiful unseasonably warm weather today. As I ran, I saw many people outside. Some were taking down Christmas lights, still others were walking with a friend (be it two-legged or four-legged). The smell of melted snow filled my nostrils, and the sight of moisture drifting off of formerly-frozen bodies of water could be seen, smelled, and felt. It was a visual example of the start of a new “season” (however short it may last) both in my heart and in my soul. It’s that beautiful time when a season of” seeking” results in a little more understanding, indicating the start of yet another spring (even if still a bit of time away).
After much thought and prayer, I will be spending time a bit more differently starting on Monday. I’m taking steps towards a more flexible schedule that allows time to focus on my priority of family, knowing and trusting that this is the next step God is directing me to take. My soul is in a state of indescribable peace. I know that I know that it’s the right step. I’m looking forward in anticipation of this next leg of the “race”. I feel a bit lighter, a bit wiser, and a bit more focused on the availability of a schedule dedicated to faith, family, and fellowship.
I’m so thankful for so many things. I can glance back and see the value of all the Lord provided. In this rear-view mirror glance, I gain more and more confidence as I watch my roots grow deeper and deeper in the soil of belief and truth. I stand firm in my belief of His continued provision, His continued faithfulness, and His continued love for me. I will trip. I will fall. I will fail. But nothing will ever remove my name from the palm of His hand and the reach of His love. It only motivates me to press harder into His embrace, for there, my soul finds rest.
I don’t claim to have all the answers. Not even close. In fact, I wasn’t even going to write tonight, I thought about curling up on the couch next to my hubbie and putting this off, maybe indefinitely. Instead, I found myself pushing some buttons and seeing this post through. I write simply to point to Him. I write because I want to remember this leg of the journey. I want to remember my battles to learn to fight another day. I write out of obedience. I write to tell someone that you are not alone.
Let me pray for you…
Dear friend, The Lord your Creator knows your name. In fact He knew you before the beginning of time. Nothing comes as a surprise for Him, He graciously allows all the events of our life to bring us to a place to be embraced by His love, over and over again. There is no sin so heinous that will ever cause Him to fall out of love with us. Nothing can nor will ever separate us from His love. He knows right where you are and knows the events yet to come. In fact, while we sit in our sin today, He sent His son to pay off our debt. We are free. We are forgiven. We are given the choice to choose Him. Every day. Know that you are never, ever, ever alone. If you entertain thoughts that you are, Satan is smiling. Check the source of your thoughts. It’s either from One or the other. Choose what you entertain wisely. The outcomes will make all the difference in the world. He loves you today. Don’t ever think otherwise. May you know that today in a way that rocks your World. Thanks for reading today. Feel free to reach out in prayer. I would cherish the opportunity to lift you up. Enjoy a wonderful Sunday.