What does HE want me to do with my time?
Because honestly, I’ll mess it up. Royally.
I like to feel productive. Because I like to feel productive, I tend to go, go, go. Sure I can do this. Sure I can do that. My days are scheduled in chucks, and any “down-time” (i.e 20 minute car ride), I’m thinking ahead of what takes place next.
I wake up thinking about my day (outfit decided the night before, kids lunches packed, backpacks ready), I have a calendar on my frig that is color-coded (already synched with Aaron’s goggle calendar), I have a routine of dinner planning, and I try to fit in a chore or two before walking out the door at 7am.
I attempt to give my best at school, I utilize most every minute (some lunches are eaten at my desk), so that I am able to leave the building, shedding my teacher hat, and donning my wife and mother hat as I shift my mindset on the drive home. We have the sheer pleasure of transporting our three children to their winter sports throughout the week (basketball, gymnastics, and swim team) with the addition of some physical therapy for our daughter’s hip this month. In addition, I will be taking two weekend classes this month to continue my education.
Why do I write about this? In all humility, I write to remember and I write to turn the spotlight on the One who guides me every step. The One I’ve learned to rely on for true contentment. I used to find satisfaction in the “doing” (empty). Now I find satisfaction in the “being”. You see “I” could not do this list, AND have peace in my heart without turning my life to the One who has purpose for my “place”.
Am I tired? You bet ya. I could dwell on the fact that I’m tired every day. OR, I can choose to see the provision of a job, the opportunities sports provide for our children, the sheer ability to think and problem-solve in a multifaceted way throughout the day, the opportunity granted me to still run, and the energy to clean bathrooms, and blog. Not with the focus on “doing” but in heart-set of “being” and serving my family. I don’t sense the craving for acknowledgement. I saw a need (dirty bathrooms) and I was moved to do something about it. Tonight. And now it’s done.
And because of our new adjustments, I will need to go big grocery shopping. On Saturday. But also, we planned family activities – a celebration at our high school in the morning, a night out to the movies in the evening. And though I can look at the calendar and wonder how in the world everything will be accomplished, I hear that gentle voice whisper, just look to today. And I can breathe.
Am I perfect at this adjustment thing? Hardly. I found myself re-directing the girls. Sternly. While running on the treadmill tonight. But this one thing I do know. God has me right where he wants me. I need only lean into HIS voice of confirmation, and yes, admiration because HE brings the only approval my heart truly craves.
THAT, and I am just blessed with the most self-less, fantastic life, teammate who keeps in touch with me throughout the day, not only with family-details, but in words of encouragement and daily sharing. I could brag about him for at LEAST two paragraphs, and yet I simply recognize this as God’s perfect timing as well. HE provides the way, the resources, and the perfect list of what to accomplish within the time given. Each day.
And my sleep is soooo good.
And I will kiss my husband, read my daily Bible reading, and fall asleep knowing that tomorrow is already planned. It will be Friday. And Aaron and I get a special treat of listening to Donald Miller speak for free. Time together. Just what we need. And the kids get some Grandma time. And His perfect plan will unfold… as I choose to follow His way.
What are your plans today?