The weirdest sensation happened to me a few weeks ago – numbness and weakness in my right hand, more prominent in my ring finger and pinkie. I noticed it after I went for a longer bike ride. I could barely lift my cereal spoon, taking out a ponytail was near impossible, and turning the key to my ignition? Had to use my left hand.
This baffled me at first, allowed me the opportunity to realize just how many everything duties I use hands for, frustrated me, and finally has initiated a new way of life into adaptions. Some days I find a bit more strength, and others not. I’m not one to go running to the doctor, but I did have a chance to ask a friend the other day. He gave me a great gift. He named it.
Ulnar nerve entrapment.
Can I first just say that the human body is amazing? I have now learned more about my hand, forearm, and elbow than I’ve ever had the need to know before. Turns out there’s a nerve that runs from your elbow and connects to your pinkie and ring finger. By putting pressure onto this nerve through an extended time on the bike, it has gotten hot and bothered. Go figure. Now I have a name.
Know what’s funny? I just don’t have to wonder anymore. I have a name, a label, an item to type in my goggle search. I even found several utube videos of therapists that show you different stretches and exercises to do to relieve the pressure! Amazing. I’ve known this, but the amount of information available to us with the touch of a fingertip (ironic as that is), just astounds me.
Yet even more than that, God speaks. Upon returning home from my sweet friend’s diagnosis, I read this on twitter from my amazing friend Renee Swope:
Ann Voscamp shared, “When you don’t have a name for something, you’re haunted by it’s shadows…But when you can name something… It loses it’s mask and you can find a strategy to deal with it.” (One Thousand Gifts)
A name. Ahhhhh, just listening to the conversation that Renee and Ann shared, (click here!) it was as if I had been invited right onto the porch of the Ontario farmhouse. My God is so personal. The gift of naming – in framing the moments. With a name, it has a designated identity. I am in His presence when I pause to thank, when I step out of the dark shadows of self-doubt into the Light – I am peaceful, I am focused, I am free.
Lord, things in life just fly by so fast, and I don’t want to miss them but I’m afraid at times I do. I do want to slow down (in my mind at least), I want to name the moment, to take a picture to jog my memory. To remember that you created me in my Mother’s womb. You knew my first day and you know my last, and all those in between. I want to stay right by you, I want to join you in the ride. Today, I thank you for the weakness in my hand. It reminds me of the journey you’re asking me to take. It reminds me to stop and ask others for help. It gives me a chance to thank you for the strength and knowledge. It reminds me of right where I need to be – dependent on you. I love you.