My stinky attitude…

Ever find yourself in a place when you notice something a little…off… in the way words are spilling forth from your mouth.  Perhaps the tone is a bit surprising, perhaps it”s something that doesn’t normally bother you that simply sends you over the edge.  Perhaps you brush it off as…weird…when it happens, but then you notice it keeps happening.  Perhaps you reach a  point where you ask, “What is my deal?”  Or, perhaps, you don’t even want to venture there for fear of what else will spew out.

My Bible tells me that out the overflow of the heart, there my mouth speaks.  Ahhhh, the reminder of my heart.  Perhaps something was a little stinky in there, perhaps something needed to be identified in order to be cleaned.  To save you all the gory details, I had a little chat with my Father about this… I came to a one-word conclusion – patience – I have not been patient.

In allowing a little reality to hit me, I do think I’ve been in avoidance mode, close to pretend mode…almost.  I know that school starts in 6 days, I know that our youngest will be starting all-day kindergarten, I know that I can’t answer the question, “so, what will you be doing Heather?”, I know that the door is being shut to certain desires of my heart at the moment, I know that I should take each day, each moment one step at a time, but I want to have a fit and see things happen my way, right now!

Whew, that being said, I can tell you with all the conviction in my heart that “having it my way”, would still leave me unfulfilled, empty, disappointed at what I thought I wanted, had, and now wish I would have ______.  It really is so much better to simply trust, and leave the results to the Lord, really.  I know this, today, I have to choose to live it.  My feelings don’t match my mind.  In the midst of emotion, I choose truth.  Truth is, Jesus loves me.  Truth is, His plan is always best.  My job – to trust and obey.  (Pause while I sing the old hymn….okay I’m back 🙂

My friend Renee shares that we travel through seasons that fluctuate – a go season, a slow season, and a no season.  No one season is more important than another, each has equal importance.  I wonder where you find yourself today?  Wherever you are, I am trusting that you are right where He would have you.  Today, I choose to let go of my “figuring it all out”, and simply do the next thing…  As I listened to Toby Mac this morning, words that echoed through my soul…. I’m yours.

Whether you find yourself “running”, “sitting”, or “thinking” today, I pray this reminder blesses you as much as it did me…

Psalm 5:3
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

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