Breaking Point

Have you ever found yourself on the verge of a breaking point?  Perhaps you have a relationship that has recently provided a test for you.  Perhaps a spouse, child, family member, or even a friend has treated you in such a manner that was unjust, undeserved.  What do you do?  How do you react?  To whom to you turn?

I must admit, I faced this dilemma just a few short days ago.  I remember the consuming thoughts, I remember rehashing, I remember strong, intense feelings.  Funny thing, I can’t quite remember them now.  Wonder why that is?  I think perhaps this particular incidence is a bit fuzzy because the relationship had a moment of restoration, conclusion, healing.  It was amazing, it’s possible, yet not all testing concludes quickly.  One thing I do remember asking myself several times was, “Heather, can you let this go?  Can you leave it and move on, perhaps not necessarily to forget, but can you extend grace?  certainly you’ve been extended grace.  Can you move forward without an expectation of being “righted”?  Can the truth of God seeing all, including your heart, be enough?”

Tough questions.  Even tougher answers.  I must admit I did wrestle.  I had to have it out with my best friend in processing.  At times, His silence just wasn’t good enough, I desired to pick up the cell and phone a friend, especially one who would for sure have my back.  I was tempted to say words that could cut deep, when perhaps space and silence was what was needed.  Bottom line, this relationship is so important to me (perhaps why I was so “intense” about the matter), that I concluded communication was needed.  Pause.  The right type of communication.  The right heart, a heart of compassion, love, and questions to gain understanding.  My next thought, timing.  I had to trust the Spirit to confirm to me when that was.  It needed to be timing from a heart that desired restoration (not necessarily surrender) to the relationship, it needed to communicate respect, honor, and if need be, passion.  Ultimately, I was responsible for my heart, not responsible for the reaction on the other end.

This is hard.  This is where relationships build or crash and burn.  This is an opportunity for unity or division.  In fact, this is the fear-factor for non-confrontational people.  This used to be my fear.  I’m learning that this is where your greatest peace lies… pretty ironic.  You see, I’m learning.  I’m learning that putting my trust, my faith, and my belief in the truths I now hold so dear, the promises written so that I may believe, bring me ….hope, confidence, and unexplainable peace.  I don’t have to live in fear of the what-ifs.  I trust the one who sees all, controls all, and loves all.  I place my trust in Him, over and over again.  It’s a choice, and it’s gets better and better each time I choose.  Does it always mean the outcomes are pleasant?  No.  I no longer expect that, but I do trust that the outcomes are part of His plan, not only for me, but for the other party as well.  For we are all His dear children.  His love is simply astounding.  From one fellow sinner to another, will you take His hand today?  Trust me, He never disappoints…

Exodus 15:13
“In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.

Psalm 13:5
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

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